Total Immersion Geologists

Are you totally obsessed with geology?

If so, then you are a total immersion geologist.

Here are the ten warning signs:

1) You judge a restaurant by the type of decorative building stone they use rather than their food.

2) You manage to turn any conversation into a discussion of geology, as in:

"What did you think of that Superbowl game last night?"
"I must have missed that conference. Who sponsored it? Geological Society of America?"

3) The only thing you notice about attractive members of the opposite sex is the stone in their jewelry.

4) You refuse to let nightfall stop your field excursions and continue looking at the outcrops using the headlights of your field vehicle.

5) You like rock music only because it's called "rock" music.

6) You will try to claw through the water flowing in a stream to get a better look at the bedrock at the base of the channel.

7) You will walk across eight lanes of freeway traffic to see if the outcrop on the other side of the highway is the same type of rock as the side you're parked on.

8) You name your children after rocks and minerals.

9) You're not sure if you have children.

10) You view non-geologists as subhuman.


Real Questions Asked in Science Classes

Are the rivers flowing up the mountain or down the mountain?

Is that the ocean? (Asked while on a field trip to Marine Lab Beach on Guam (a small island in the Pacific)).

How can the river be flowing north? That's uphill!


Real Answers From Earth Science Exams

The main problem associated with limestone aquifers is Lyme disease.

We don't have rock salt on Guam because that forms from evaporation of oceans and we don't have oceans on Guam.

Erie, Pennsylvania has no volcanoes because it's too cold there.

The rear end of a trilobite is called a trilobutt.


Chemistry Rhyme

Bonding

Carbon:
With orbitals of sp3
I want to make a bond with thee,
Together we, covalently,
Will translate through eternity!

Hydrogens:
Oh, carbon atom, we respond
With our s orbitals, to bond!

Contributed by Bill Schafer